This is a hard one. It really is. It really shouldn’t be. But through an unfortunate combination of my own mental quirks and societal conditioning, it is really hard for me to just give a list of things I’m good at. It feels like I’m bragging or dishonest, or perhaps if I say I’m good at something someone will then call me out and show me that I’m really not that great at it. Imposter syndrome is a very real thing, and unfortunately many people suffer from it.
Recently an aunt-in-law of mine told me that one time ages ago (before I was pregnant) I had made a comment along the lines of “when my husband and I have kids, I hope they look like him.” This was to say, I hope they don’t look like me, because I don’t like me.
Later, her daughter asked her why I would say something like that. My aunt-in-law told her she didn’t know, and in relaying the story to me she told me I’m beautiful.
This was very sweet, and I’m grateful for her being so kind, and now that I am pregnant I do hope my baby will look like me too. But this story also made me sad, because I realized that I inadvertently passed on the message that it’s ok to be mean to ourselves and we shouldn’t be confident. It may not seem like much, but it’s the little things that teach children how they should view themselves and their place in the world.
That little story isn’t about my abilities and this list of five things I’m good at, exactly, but it is about confidence and what we’re teaching the next generation, intentionally or not. We need more people demonstrating healthy relationships with themselves and others. We need to stop self-deprecation, even in the name of humor. We need to stop the comments about losing weight to look better or how someone else’s artwork is better than our own, or how we are lazy and should be accomplishing more than we are. We need to model self-love and self-care and how that lets us love and care for others. We need to make those honest lists of things we’re good at and things we like about ourselves.
This is uncomfortable for many of us. It’s uncomfortable for me. I’m trying to get ready to raise my soon-to-come daughter so she is confident and capable. I don’t want her to have the crippling negative self talk I’ve had as long as I remember. I don’t want her to worry about looks or abilities or think that her own worth is tied to those things. But in order for that to happen, I need to show her that I love and respect myself. This has been the subject of many mental and emotional wrestles over the past months, and it will continue as I attempt to break mental habits instilled from a young age.
I’ll start small, with my list of things I’m good at.
One, I’m good at crocheting small animals and cute things. I’m fine at crocheting large animals as well, but I enjoy the small ones far more—much more satisfying!
Two, I’m good at making friends with children, especially small children. I would much rather talk to kids than adults in most situations.
Three, I’m good at finding common ground with people, probably because I have a lot of interests.
Four, I’m good at organizing information for study guides and flyers and such.
Five, I’m pretty good at baking, specifically gluten free baking. (Yes, gluten free baking can be tasty too, I promise.)
Small list, small step, but progress.
Almost Canadian 
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