Almost Canadian

Happy Monday!

Time is zooming past rapidly, and it’s been almost a month since my trip to Las Vegas (which I had intended to post about as soon as I got home). I went as part of my internship and to be honest, it’s probably the last city I would have chosen to visit on my own. It’s flashy and smells like weed and cigarettes, plus I don’t gamble or drink, plus Nevada is hot in the summer. Also the trip meant leaving home and husband for a week and hanging out with strangers instead. Gross.

All things considered, I was nervous, yet I still found myself on a plane headed to Nevada. Several hours flying gave me plenty of time to think and prepare myself mentally for the coming week. I wanted it to be a good experience, and logically I knew it would be, but I needed to let go of some of my anxiety. Instead of dwelling on what felt like my impending doom, I shifted to pondering the concept of experiencing just to experience. I reminded myself: An experience does not have have to be positive or negative to be worth my time. Every moment does not have to get me closer to a specific outcome. No moment is forever, and no feeling is forever. There is value in trying new things and simply being in the moment.

And you know what? These thoughts helped. The trip was stressful, and I often wanted to go home. But it was also really good for me. I got to work with cool people for a job I care about. I got to see new things and just experience in a way I wouldn’t normally. There were no background chores nagging me to do them instead and nothing to make me feel guilty for wasting time on things that are “unproductive.” (Not that one should feel guilty for “unproductive” activities, many of which are actually quite productive in that they allow one to relax, stimulate creativity, and prevent burnout. This is just something I struggle with, and I’m guessing I’m not alone.)

When I finally returned home, I felt surprisingly empowered. I did a thing, and it was hard, and I was ok. That’s a feeling I want to hold on to, and I’ve been trying hard to do so. I’ve been working on filling my time with simple experience, like going outside and feeling the wind on my skin and smelling damp earth in the rain. It’s a process, but I do believe that mindfully approaching life is key to having a meaningful life.

If all goes according to plan, I’ll be heading back to Las Vegas at the end of the summer. I’m hoping to see more of Nevada outside the strip. If anyone has suggestions for what to see and do, let me know!

To an amazing rest of the week,

Melanie Raine